Life After El Salvador

May 30th, 2012

Todd and I visited Petoskey after our study abroad experience.

Well, it has been over a week since I've returned from El Salvador.  Ok, maybe closer to two weeks, but who's counting.  I waited to write this final entry because I needed time and space to let things gel--my trip experiences, my life here, family, and just the general uncertainty of my newly graduated life.  When I returned, I slammed back into action pretty quickly, but have finally had some time to think and write again.

When people ask me about my trip, I find my self stumped and somewhat tongue tied.  I find myself wondering about who is asking, how much time we have to talk, and if I have access to my pictures or not.  I realize I need to have varied versions of my trip experience to share because of time and relational differences.  Right now, I don't know how well I am doing communicating all this.  However, I do know that I can share a lot easier with my pictures in front of me.

I am grateful for my family and friends here with whom I have had long conversations about the trip.  My husband and I spent a lot of time after I returned talking over Salvadorian coffee, catching each other up on the past events of the two weeks.  My parents and brother were avid followers of the blog, and were very engaged in my pictures and stories as we celebrated Mother's Day together.  My six year old niece sat with me the whole time as I shared many of my pictures with her and my sister.  These moments and many more showed me once again the richness within my current community.  The beauty and depth of these relationships were highlighted after witnessing the powerful communities within El Salvador.  Needless to say, I feel blessed.

Todd and I hiking around Little Traverse Bay.

My life is still in transition right now.  I am trying to do a moral inventory of my life--what I wear, eat, buy, value, and see if these line up with fair and sustainable practices.  Also, I am really aware of my comforts and am trying to reconcile how I live in the States but still keep my head clear and maintain a global perspective on "need" verses "want".  I am also wondering how luxuries and comforts that I experience take the edge off my consciousness and seem to insulate me from the struggles that others around the world face daily.

I do keep thinking of Santa Marta, as challenging as it was for me personally.  I keep going to the community in my mind--seeking peace, love and comfort within those memories.  It's weird because I didn't feel comfortable in a physical sense there at the time, but somehow the memories have these warm feelings embedded within them.

So, at this point, I will continue to carry El Salvador within me as live and work here.  My trip as well as my reflection time upon being back has led me to focus on certain principles.  I am convinced that being present is ultimately important as I move forward.  Also, I believe it is also important to not fear fear or doubt but to remember who I am, whose I am, where I've been, and where I am, and to be aware of where I am going.  As I move forward on this journey, I will work to have open hands to whatever comes my way.